time, or a lack there of..

i was just hit with a crippling feeling. the crushing realization that im 17 and i try and find something that has marked my life as adventurous, anything remotely interesting. lets just say my list was rather short. im terrified that when i grow up ill look back and find myself wanting.

ive also realized that my father is sickeningly worried about what other people think of him. i cant even look the way i want because hes worried what people will think about me and subsequently think about him as my father. for gods sake, let people think what they will. life's much to short. if people want to judge, let them waste their lives but dont drag me into it.

this summer, when i was in florida, i actually almost got into trouble, and i wont lie, it was one of the most exciting things ever, and i didn't even really do anything except stay out till like midnight and almost have the cops called to search for me and my friend. i need more life experiences like this, im so vanilla.

moral of the story, i need help, i need to hang with friends that will allow me to live life and break loose, ive already spent too much time worried what others think and im done. not that i really know how to do this anymore but hey, i can hope thats what friends are for.